A Birthday Cake + Isolation

Yet another birthday came and went this year. No big celebrations. No going out. We are living of-course through a global pandemic. But pandemic or not, my birthday is the day when I want to be left alone. I don’t like gifts (yes you heard me right!) and I don’t like any fuss. I’m not much of one for birthdays. If you have followed me, you know this so I won’t go on about it! 🙂 And because this year everyone is forced to be indoors as much as possible there was no pressure to do anything at all. So in that sense it was a perfect birthday. It was just like any other day.

This pandemic has been horrific with the toll it has taken on health care workers around the world and the families that have lost their loved ones. I can’t even imagine as I sit in my bubble what the frontline workers go through on a daily basis. Or the families that have had to let go of their loved ones earlier than normal. And even as we sit tight and wait for better days to come, we could also sit and analyse our own lives in this period of a forced cooling down. I for one have realised a few things about myself. Things that may have been within me and things I perhaps knew subconsciously but only now I am forced to face.

I grew up in a house with one sister and a mom. Dad was away for a better part of my early growing years on army business. I have a sister I don’t remember being close to the way I am today. I was and am super close to my mother but we were alone. I felt alone. And from an Indian standpoint we were alone. In a city with no family. With only ourselves to rely on. That’s what I remember.

As I attained maturity that isolation faded with new friends and a change of city and scene. And yet when I look back now, I preferred my own company. I had to be pried away from home to visit friends. And extended family I rejected altogether. Then I moved to the US and the one overriding feeling I felt was one of relief because I was alone. This time utterly alone. I made new friends and lost a dear friend in the pursuit of isolation. I didn’t quite understand what I was seeking nor did I understand why my closest friend couldn’t understand me. I went as far away as I possibly could to feel peace. Whenever, during this course of time I have told people of my need for being alone I have met with judgement. I’m told its not healthy. I am often looked upon with a certain pitying and a general concern for my well being. Maybe it is for this reason that I have been forced to quell what is integral to me. We live in society where unless we are cookie cutter images of each other we do find it hard to accept it. I am probably guilty of the same. My next move was to Europe. I suffered a different kind of isolation here. One that was forced upon me horribly in the way of discrimination. The country I am forced today to call home, left me trying to make it completely on my own. Every door to becoming independent in this country was shut down. And I suddenly couldn’t visit my loved ones unless I paid a high price of travelling to India. This sort of isolation I had never encountered before. This open discrimination towards me and everything I am as an Indian eventually made me strong as a rock.

So when this half baked lockdown in Holland happened it was a blessing in disguise for me. I didn’t recognise it at first till my dearest friend pointed out to me. I am in my comfort zone. Forced to stay at home. Without judgement. I now know what I have perhaps known deep down in my heart all along. I am an isolationist. With a hint of contradiction. Or maybe a big dash of it. I am a city girl. I like the hustle bustle. But within that, I like being alone. It is a glorious feeling to acknowledge this to myself. No more pretending. I don’t need a lockdown to be comfortable about myself. I am simply the product of how I grew up at first and then by my experiences in foreign lands. Big realisations that may not have happened without this virus.

I also recognise that some people may have a terrible time dealing with cabin fever. I get it. And I will outline some ways you can beat that feeling. Tips that have worked for me when I came to this country and was rejected on a monumental scale.

For one, establish a routine. I cannot say this often enough. Routines are a way of controlling your environment.
Get up in the morning, as you would if it was a normal work day. DON’T hang around in your pjs all day. Wear your business attire or whatever it is you wear to work. For the ladies put on your makeup and your pretty earrings. Don’t be a slob. This has worked for me like you wouldn’t believe. This is a valuable tip my mom gave me years and years ago. People have mocked me on me doing this for years when I didn’t have a job in Holland how I was all made up at 9 in the morning every single day! Believe me this works wonders for your morale.

Eat at regular times. Just because you’re home doesn’t mean that you eat whenever you feel like it. Eat your major meals or for the ones like me that need 5-6 smaller meals. DO NOT snack. At the end of the day you will not feel good about yourself nor will your body. And if you’re repeating this cycle of indulging and guilt, you need to stop it now.

Work out! Even if you do a short ten minute workout in your bedroom everyday. It WILL make you feel good about yourself. If you don’t have the space, step out. Get some fresh air. I know this sounds like common sense but when you get the blues going out is the last thing on your mind. Set a recurring reminder on your phone for getting some exercise and encouraging those healthy endorphins to do their job!

And once you’ve done all of the above, the three main things; start a book, work on that idea that has been seeing the dust on your mind shelf for years!

And now about this cake. Even though I never enjoy celebrating my birthday, cake is always welcome. And if there is someone in the house that looks forward to me baking whatever the occasion, then thats a better reason to bake a cake than for the day you were born 🙂

This cake is a winner. Dead simple. So chocolatey and so good. Hope you make it to celebrate whatever it might you be that you are rejoicing…

A Birthday Cake + Isolation

 

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Author: boxofspice

Ingredients

• for cake
• 3 cups sugar
• 3 cups all purpose flour
• 1 cup + 2 Tbsps Dutch-processed cocoa powder
• 1 tsp salt
• 2¼ tsps baking powder
• 2¼ tsps baking soda
• 3 eggs
• ¾ cup vegetable oil
• 1½ cup milk (you can use whole or skimmed)
• 1 cup hot coffee
• 
  
• for the swiss buttercream i used this link

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 350°F/175°C. Grease, flour, and line the bottoms of three 7" round cake pans.
2. In a mixer bowl, combine the sugar, flour, cocoa powder, salt, baking powder, and baking soda. Mix to combine.
3. In a separate bowl, combine the beaten eggs, vegetable oil, and milk. Stir to mix. Then, with the mixer on low, pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients. Mix on low until evenly distributed.
4. Pour the hot coffee into the batter and mix on medium low until smooth. The batter will be soupy.
5. Divide the batter between the cake pans.
6. Bake for 35-45 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the centre of the cakes comes out clean. Remove from the oven and let cool completely.
7. Level the cakes before assembling the cake.
8. Stack the cakes, spreading a layer of frosting in between each cake layer. Frost the outside of the cake with the remainder of the buttercream.
9. You can also keep some buttercream aside and add whatever color you like to make the splatters I did. Totally up to you!

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